The art of description is replaced with the accuracy of photography and video—more exact, less compelling.

B: So
C: Little
B: Red
C: Riding
B: Hood
C: Went to see her granny
C/B: Full stop
B: Granny lived in the forest
C/B: Full stop
C: And the young girl was scared
C/B: Shit-less hyphen
B: Because of the wolves
C/B: Ahhh full stop
C: When she got to the cottage
B: Granny was still in bed
C/B: Question mark
C: And Granny looked
B: Dif
C: Er
B:Ren
C/B: T open quotation marks
C: What big ears you have
B: Granny
C: All the better to hear you with
C/B: Comma
B: My dear
C: What big eyes you have
B: Granny
C: All the better to see you with
C/B: Comma
B: My dear
C: What big teeth you have
B: Granny
C: All the better to eat you with
C/B: CAPITAL LETTERS
B: MY DEAR
C/B: Close quotation marks
New Bit
C And the wolf jumped at the girl and sunk his yellow teeth into her body full stop
B Grad
C du
B aly comma
 C he began to swallow the little girl
B Bit by
C bit
B colon
C Head
B and shoulder
C knees and toes comma
B Knees and toes til there was nothing left
C dot dot dot
B but here’s the thing little red riding hood’s dad suddenly turned up
C Exclamation mark
B Thank the lord and all his angels
C And he saw the bulge in grandma’s tummy
B Open inverted commas You having a baby grandma question mark close inverted commas
C Open inverted comma yes my dear twins close inverted commas
B But dad knew knew he was the wolf and taking his axe he skillfully opened the animal’s tummy and the little girl popped out and her granny too full stop
C They were a bit smelly like old fish in a bin but they were happy comma
B like very happy and everything was alright and
C Okey
B dokey
C and hunky
B dory and fine
C and dandy


And the wolf stole away dot dot dot dot dot dot dot

L And
And
And where do I begin?
There was a man; Bluebeard.
He had had many wives.
And they had disappeared. One by one. And no one knew where or how or why.
Now Bluebeard wanted another wife.
So he invited Stella, as she was called, to a party
It was in his fine castle overlooking the sea. It had many splendid rooms
And Stella was curious….
As the party got under way, Bluebeard started to drink his favourite wine made from his favourite grapes.
And when he danced his heavy dance
He dropped his hat
And Stella picked it up.
In the lining of the hat she found a key.
When Bluebeard got drunker
Stella decided to take a look around the castle
And to try out the key.
It fitted the very first door she came to
She turned the lock and looked up
There -on the ceiling -she saw four wives with pale skins
Hanging from hooks.
In her shock she dropped the key
Onto the bloody floor
She picked it up and put it back into the hat
And returned quickly to the party.
Bluebeard welcomed her, kissed her, took the hat and put it on.
But a drop of blood from the key ran down his cheek and plop… into his glass.
He gulped the bloody drink and smiled at his new wife…
B Full stop
C No. Dot dot dot
They leave to walk to the back position. Leah stays looking forward
B Or question mark. Like (mysteriously) Question mark Dot dot dot.
C Don’t question me.
B Don’t stop me
L As I was saying – He drank the bloody wine. But -as we all know -blood and alcohol do not mix –particularly in the stomach of an ogre. The drink becomes an acid. It burns and eats away at all the vital organs. And so Bluebeard fell to the ground in perfect agony. He was dead.
All FULL STOP!
…And Stella lived happily ever after; and opened a small café on the sea front.
C And we went there just yesterday
B we did.
C Took the table by the window.
B I had a chelsea bun and you had a generous portion of
B/C bakewell tart.
B She had a marvellous selection of beverages. I chose the Camomille with spearmint whereas you stuck to
C Darjeeling
B As always